WITH their bizarre bodies and odd expressions, these curious creatures wouldn’t win any wildlife beauty contests. But zoologist and film-maker Lucy Cooke says it’s time we cared about them before it’s too late.
In a three-part TV series, Freaks And Creeps, starting tonight on National Geographic Wild at 8pm, she will attempt to convince us of the appeal of uglier endangered animals.
Here she explains her mission against what she calls the “tyranny of cute”.
HUMANS are hard-wired to go all gooey over cute animals.
Austrian zoologist Konrad Lorenz was the first to discover, in 1949, that we are programmed to react to big heads, big eyes and wobbly vulnerability. It’s part of our nurturing instinct.
Well, not me. I think I’m actually immune to cute. Instead, I’ve always been a massive fan of weird, ugly, unloved animals. Maybe it’s the British habit of always supporting the underdog.
What intrigues me, as a zoologist, is the story behind these animals, not their looks.
On a mission ... Zoologist Lucy Cooke
Unfortunately I’m in a minority, and that means hundreds of the least attractive endangered species are getting ignored in favour of the more loveable, fluffy ones.
There was a paper written that revealed there were 500 times more scientific and research papers written about the charismatic, furry animals than endangered amphibians. I couldn’t believe it.
If we only try to save the cute animals, we will end up with a planet of polar bears and pandas, and a whole host of animals that are essential for making the world tick will be ignored and left to die out.
Brilliantly unattractive ... the uakari monkey
So in my series, I hope to convince people that it’s time to stand up for the ugly. My hope is that once people understand the stories behind some of these creatures, they will find them attractive.
In the first episode I go to Borneo and completely ignore its famous orangutans. Instead, I spend time with the proboscis monkey.
There’s no doubt this is one peculiar-looking monkey. He has a giant, bulbous nose, a big pot belly and Donald Trump hair.
A real looker ... the proboscis monkey
Unfortunately for him, he also sports a permanent erection that resembles the least appealing chilli pepper in the world.
The colouring of his fur makes him look like he’s wearing grey tights with white underpants over the top. It’s a real look.
To add to that, the poor thing farts all the time because he lives off very indigestible fruit, which also gives him the pot belly.
Shell-o sexy! ... the Mata Mata turtle
Proboscis monkeys are really endangered, but because there’s no funding for any research on them, we don’t know how many are left.
A lot of people think vultures are very ugly too, but there are some interesting facts about them. For instance, they are bald so they won’t get blood in their feathers as they feed off carrion, and they can also spot a carcass from four miles. That’s like a superhero power.
Their stomach acid is so strong they can break down botulism and anthrax — and at the South African vulture sanctuary I visited I was told you could use vulture poo to wash dishes, as it’s such a good disinfectant.
If looks could thrill ... vulture
They are absolutely necessary to the ecosystem because they recycle dead bodies. But in some places, their numbers have dropped by up to 95 per cent.
Many are poisoned. But there is also a belief in South Africa that smoking vulture brains will enable you to see into the future. Since the lotto arrived in South Africa there has been a sharp drop in numbers.
I visited a market there where I saw hundreds of dead vultures being sold for their brains.
Another ugly animal is the giant Chinese salamander, which unfortunately looks like a 6ft penis.
Penis envy ... the Chinese giant salamander
It lives in the same mountains of China as that poster-child of conservation, the giant panda, but no one’s interested in the salamander.
The Zoological Society of London have campaigned to protect this amphibian for a long time but have struggled to get funding because of the way the salamander looks. This is a real shame because it’s the world’s largest amphibian. It’s really ancient and it’s got as much right to be on this planet as the panda.
Other brilliantly unattractive examples include the naked mole rat, which eats its own poo, the mata mata turtle and the uakari monkey, which looks like an angry red skull.
The naked mole rat ... eats its own poo
There are some people trying to save these unattractive beasts, including a British bloke who is studying the dung beetle in Borneo. He has to provide his own bait, so yes, he craps for conservation. If that doesn’t deserve a medal, I don’t know what does. But I’ll end on one of my favourite uglies, the aquatic scrotum frog.
He lives in Lake Titicaca, on the border of Peru and Bolivia, which is more than 12,000ft above sea level.
The air is incredibly thin, it’s very cold and the only way the aquatic scrotum frog survives is by living at the bottom of the lake.
One of the favourites ... the scrotum frog
He absorbs oxygen through his skin, which has evolved to be saggy, with more surface area to absorb more oxygen. To help the process he does press-ups to increase the water circulation around his body.
So there he is, named after a testicle bag, living in the world’s highest lake, doing push-ups in the dark.
He might not be good-looking, but you’ve got to love that animal.
This cuddly panda ... leaves Lucy cold
